Weird Life

It is really weird thing is to experience death and to be a min. maybe a sec. from death I experienced it three times in life. The weirdest is that in these three times I was with the same person. The last time was today the first two I was younger careless and have nothing to live for I was just living day by day didn't care much if I lived tomorrow or not. I just felt life isn't important and believing that I'm going to die at the end so why should I wait for it so long and the strangest thing was that I used to enjoy it enjoying the adrenaline force in the body it was much more fun than taking million times drugs. But in last time it was so different I was like I don't want to die today or even now or in this way actually I feared death it was my first time to feel so .I felt that I'm still have a lot of things to do in my life and I done none of what I want yet. I know that when death comes it comes and I have no way to escape it but what changed in me and I'm not talking about 10 years difference or something it is only 3 years in life it is nothing .I feel something changed in me I began to fear things I never feared before I began to think of not what happens today is what happens today and tomorrow is just another day that may not come I found that I think about tomorrow more than today.

It is June

I didn't relaise that it is june but today june to me means a lot it is the end of year and new year for me it is the time od going to the sea to enjoy it specialy that last year I didn't enjoy the sea the only sea I went it was the freezing sea of the northen sea in england. So i hope this year i enjoy june the rest days of it have good time in the last breezes in summer.
I'm almost finished with exams and I'm happy :D

Freedom

One of the things that makes me angry is the peoples look and attitude to me as if I'm not like them and sometimes I wanted to scream YES I HAVE A LONG HAIR AND BEARD I DIDN'T SHAVE FOR 3 MONTH AND DIDN'T HAVE A CUT FOR A YEAR SO WHAT ?!!!! IT IS ME AND I LIKE IT. I really don't know how they want to live in freedon and they don't know how to practice it they don't like what it not like them and what is not beliveing or doing what they are doing. They want to have freedom while they are not free from inside . Before asking for your freedom ask your self if you are free from inside first.
wa kefa keda b2a 7a3mel ely ana 3ayzo bardo walo 2olto magnon

I really hate it

I don't know what to say or write about I have nothing to talk about i'm depressed feels bad and not doing good because of nothing maybe i don't feel loved but i don't know what is love i don't know how to feel loved it is like talking about how drugs gives these good feeling and the great feeling getting stoned but they didn't try it .It is the same here i didn't try it i don't think i will ever try it do i need it yes i need it maybe just to stop thinking about it .
well i need to sleep good night